


Aren't Birthdays Supposed to be Happy?

by fanfiction_fanfriction



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2013-09-25
Packaged: 2017-12-27 13:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfiction_fanfriction/pseuds/fanfiction_fanfriction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joel always hated birthdays and it always falling on the day his world ended makes him hate it even more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aren't Birthdays Supposed to be Happy?

Joel woke up to the sound of breakfast cooking, he instantly got up and ran to the kitchen. He didn’t find Ray though, he found Burnie.

Joel rests against the corner of the wall and swallows back the sadness.  
Burnie turns to Joel and says “Good morning.”

Joel nods and goes over to the couch then sits down. He runs his fingers through his hair and let’s out a sigh.  
Burnie came over constantly to help with Joel, the man has been falling apart at the seams for about a year now. He could see it in Joel’s eyes every morning, the excitement but it only to get shot down when he realizes that he isn’t Ray.  
To be honest Joel was doing better, he started eating and didn’t break things in pure anger then only to collapse to his knees and cry out.  
Burnie still worried about his friend, he loved Ray but not in the way Joel did. Whenever his name was mentioned you could see the sparkle in his old eyes but now no one can talk about Ray with Joel in the room.  
Barbara accidently brought it up once while they were out drinking and Joel left before she could finish her sentence, just saying the boy’s name broke Joel down. She apologized time after time but Joel said “It was okay.”

Burnie knows that today will be a touchy day with Joel, it was his forty second birthday after all. Yesterday was a struggle to get the older man out of bed and to eat anything.  
Joel visited Ray’s gravestone and lit a small candle and talked a bit and apologized before crying. Gavin and Burnie helped him home and just let him stay home for the day because there is no way they’d ever get him to work.  
“Are you alright Joel?” Burnie asks.  
Joel nods and slumps farther into the couch.  
Nothing changed in the apartment since Ray left. His games still there, the photos of him still on the fridge and even his Applejack plush still sits on the counter and Burnie remembers how much Joel hated how Ray left that on the counter, Ray’s clothes still hang in the closet and his jacket still hung over the chair.  
Burnie knows he should tell Joel to move on but it’s hard to move on when all you seem to do is blame yourself for the loss of the love of your life.  
“You know what today is?” Burnie asks drying his hands.  
Joel lets out a groan.  
“C’mon Caboose, tell me.” Burnie eggs on.  
“Fuck off.” Joel groans.  
“It’s your birthday Joel.” Burnie says going towards him.

Burnie stands in front of Joel’s view from the television.  
“Burnie, I’m not in the mood.” Joel groans.  
“C’mon-” Burnie starts before Joel butts in.  
“Don’t ‘c’mon’ me, you know what’s today as much as I do!” Joel shouts standing up.  
“Joel please-” Burnie starts.

“Don’t, please don’t.” Joel chokes out, his fists clenching up.  
Today was the day one year ago the world lost Ray, it’s also the same day as Joel’s birthday. They got into a bit of a fight and Ray said he was leaving for the night and he’ll be back tomorrow morning and promises they’ll sort it out. They never did. Halfway through crossing the street the next morning Ray got struck by a car that was running through a red light. Ray was left in a coma for two weeks and those were the hardest two weeks the company ever went through and it was much worse for Joel who couldn’t go to work and has in and out of the hospital for not eating. They finally pulled the plug after the doctor said there was no hope for Ray and after that no one heard from Joel for about two weeks till Burnie took it upon himself to help Joel. Losing Ray was a blow to the company but to Joel it blew up his whole world and every plan they made; the running off and getting married one night, driving out at night to see the stars, for Joel to stay awake while watching a My Little Pony episode and Ray to stay awake when Joel watches the stocks on the television. They had plans and one person shattered them. That’s what made Joel the most upset.

“Joel, today’s your birthday. Aren’t birthday’s supposed to be happy?” Burnie questions.  
“You don’t get it do you?” Joel asks.  
“Yes I do Joel! I get you’re depressed and I’m doing everything I can to help!” Burnie shouts.  
Joel is taken aback for a second before saying “I can’t be happy because the one person that made me happy is seven feet under because of what I did!”

Burnie stands there also taken a back, never before has Joel addressed that Ray is gone.

“Joel, you-” Burnie begins.

“I know he’s dead Burnie, his side of the bed has been cold for over a year, just as cold as his corpse that I put underground!” Joel hisses, feeling his throat tighten.  
Burnie walks over and hugs Joel.  
“I’m sorry Joel, I know right now you’re hurting and today’s not the best day to talk about it. I’m just trying to get you back.” Burnie explains before letting Joel go.  
Joel wipes his eyes like a small child and says “Thanks.”

“Do you want to go see him?” Burnie suggests.  
Joel nods.

“Then eat and get dressed.” Burnie says.  
Joel eats the bacon that Burnie cooked then got dressed.  
They get into Burnie’s truck and head to the graveyard. Burnie notices the pain look on Joel’s face. He’s bringing the grieving man here for a reason.  
Once they arrive they get out and walk till they get to Ray’s grave. Standing there is Gavin holding an envelope in his hand.  
“What is he doing here?” Joel asks leaning over to Burnie.  
“Trust me.” Burnie replies.  
The approach the Brit whose standing there with a small smile.  
“Hello.” He says.  
“Hey.” Joel replies.  
Gavin hands him the envelope and says “It’s from Ray.”

Joel quickly grabs it and opens it with no effort.  
“He meant to give it to you after the fight, he left it at my place. I found it the other day and I thought it’d be a good birthday present.”

Joel nods and starts reading.

Dear Joel,  
Look I’m sorry for being an ass last night, it’s my fault. I never meant to start that fight over the cake, I knew you trying to be funny. Don’t blame yourself like you always do, for once don’t; for me, please?

I love you Joel, you’re the most amazing person I have ever met and you shouldn’t spend your birthday in the middle of a fight, you don’t have many more years left old man.  
See, I can be funny too.  
I don’t have a gift for you but I promise when we make up I’ll get you the most amazing gift ever, but only if you don’t blame yourself for what happened.  
Alright?

I love you Joel Heyman even if you enjoy stocks and gold but I wouldn’t have you any other way.  
See you soon,  
Ray

Joel finishes reading and sits down on the green grass and puts his head in his hands then tears start to slip down his face.  
His heart aches but at the same time doesn’t, he is grieving because of loss not of guilt anymore.  
He misses Ray not because he wants to say he’s sorry but because now he wants to say the words Ray loved to hear “I love you too.”  
Gavin crouches down and pats Joel on the shoulder then says “See, he loved you and he still does. It’s not your fault.”

Joel nods and lifts his head and let’s the breeze hit his red cheeks.  
“I’m so sorry Ray.” He mumbles.  
Burnie pats Joel on the shoulder before signalling Gavin to leave.  
They leave the older man alone to let out everything that Joel has been keeping in since Ray died.  
Joel sits there and cries and mutters apologies and wishes he could turn back time just to kiss Ray one more time but all the man can do now is get better and become the person Ray wanted him to be and maybe in a few years Joel will finally have another happy birthday.


End file.
